Monday, January 03, 2005

Never Look Back

Nine and 1/2 years ago I walked into a pawnshop in Oxford, MS. This pawnshop sold tapes and CDs for fairly cheap so I would visit every so often to see what used music they would have. That day I left with Songs You Know By Heart. Little did I know it would prove to be a pivotal moment in my life.

Fast-forward to present time. My wife and I just got back from a cruise to San Juan, Barbados, St Lucia, Antigua, St. Martin and St. Thomas. I've always wanted to live in the Caribbean but felt that more or less it was probably just a pipe dream...No More... We were in St Martin and were having the time of our life. Thoughts of living under the sun (along with the rains and hurricanes) were running through my mind. Maybe I was looking for a sign or either it was looking for me. We were on our way to Orient Beach when we passed a marina..,on the back of this one particular boat..there it was "Never Look Back."

I've been fortunate enough or blessed one to have the the mindset that if I want something bad enough I'm going to go for it. I've been outta law school for nearly 2 1/2 years now and I can tell you that practicing law isn't something I want to do for the rest of my life. The job is the best job I've ever had but in the end I'm not my own boss and can't see my self turning 65 sitting behind some desk defending an insurance company.

So now my wife and I, after much discussion, have decided to map out a long-range plan on moving to the West Indies. I still young (31), so I have a few years to invest and raise money while carefuly planning what island would suit us best. The plethora of things to consider is almost overwhelming. Where would we live, what would we do to make money, healthcare, schooling for the future children. We're leaning towards the USVIs where I could take the bar exam and continue practicing law for a time.

Friday, October 29, 2004

OCD Find Out What IT Means To Me

Over a year ago the attorney I was working for downsized and I was let go. I just had to share this with you all.
Sunday, October 26, 2003
Two and ½ weeks ago Dr. Satan dropped the news that he was "downsizing"; effectively letting me go. Or so he said. The truth is more than that as I discovered by a draft letter he left on his desk that I discovered a few days later. More or less it was that I hadn’t made him a profit. Then again who even knows if that is the truth. He’s let many people go since I’ve been there and probably many more before I began to work for him. So no more smelling his cancer sticks or having to listen to him pace up and down the hall going "chinga-chinga-ching". For my own entertainment let’s visit the ideas he’s had or things he’s done since I started on MLK day last year:

Opening an liquor store-he plans to convert the accountant’s office into this. He mentioned this last year and had me run a copy of the ABC application for him as he did a few days after I was let go. He always loses things or fails to fill them out in a timely manner. A liquor store next to a law office; how professional of him. Very fitting too considering that he is probably an alcoholic. Hurt on the job. Come to Dr. Satan Law Firm where we’ll tend to your needs. Then to combat that fit of depression pick up a fifth or two of good ole Southern Comfort to lift your spirits.

Signs-he had planned on changing the name to Dr. Satan Law Firm, P.A. Thus changing the signs. He had this not so bright idea of putting a sign in the flower bed that said "parking in rear". Considering there’s never more than two clients at any given time in the office the idea royally stunk.

Moving files. Dear Lord not again!! If I could point out the biggest thing this is it. OCD Poster Child of the year! He’s had the files in so many locations that he must put them in the attic next. He’s had them in his office once, in the front area on all four walls, the corridor adjacent to that on all walls, in the conference room, in the other three rooms on all walls. Bring me the blah blah blah file". After thirty minutes of searching I find the SAID file under an ashtray in the shitter.

The thief- Dr. Satan was bad with names. He hired this nasty white trash ho who had eyes like an E.T. on meth. It goes without saying she was on meth. She had a boyfriend in jail for operating a lab in Charleston. She goes to Wally World to buy supplies and spends well over $30 additional dollars. The head secretary and I inform Dr. Satan who is nonchalant about it. I am insistent on getting a copy of the receipt. Cream horns, spray paint and toothpaste were among the items. Dr. Satan writes her a letter informing her he’s letting her go but never delved into the reasons why. Like always I have to give the ho the letter. She confronts Head Secretary who whips out the receipt. End of story.

Moving furniture-I envision Dr. Satan as more of an office manager (albeit a very bad manager) who is into interior design of the hillbilly, garage sale decor. From ducks to pictures of his new wife’s children the walls have held some interesting yet always outmoded paintings and photos. He has had his office in four, count ‘em chief, four different rooms while I was there.

All choked up-I was drinking a coke one day and got strangled some what. He keep talking to me like nothing was going on. Much like the way he learned the Internet and WordPerfect. Wait...he didn’t!!

Smoking-who in the hell smokes in their office and can claim to be a professional? Perhaps the biggest pain I had to deal with during my tenure with Dr. Satan.

Staff meetings-The true answer to the arrest of aging. Attend one of Dr. Satan's staff meetings and you too can watch time go by in milliseconds. The purpose of 90% of these was to introduce us to some new form that would only be re-revised within a three month time period. Get use to one way of doing something then whammy here’s a new brilliant way to do it. This ties in with the files and the consistent movement of Satan's furniture around the office. Man, that couch was hideous.

See mom, I told you I could write a book about the things that have happened at the office. Don’t get me started on the city I lived in. This place made the West Bank look like an entertainment Mecca. No place to eat, shop, drink, and so on. I lambasted two pizza places this weekend on there apparent lack of brain cells and notation of directions. Can the road I live on be that hard to find? Apparently so young man, apparently so.

Muslim Musings

ABC has aired another terrorist tape by some camel riding madman. This dork apparently wasn't happy watching Dr. Who in his parent's basement!

Ashley Vanilli Simpson

Dear God say it ain't so. After such a long and lustrious career Ashley Simpson is exposed as a fraud. Shouldn't we have seen this coming? If you watched the first airing of the Milli Vanilla...er I mean the Ashley Simpson Showe any dumbass could have seen this coming? If you stuck a corndog up my cat's ass (which would be no small feat) she would sing better than Ashley Simpson!!!



The Dream Posted by Hello
You wait years for something like this to happen only to suffer defeat year after year. You sit on the very edge of the couch with your hands entertwined in front of your eyes as you watch another BoSox team end another season. You consider the curse and tell yourself "Next Year" and you believe it. Dreams do come true.
"I just got one last thing, I urge all of you, all of you, to enjoy your life, the precious moments you have. To spend each day with some laughter and some thought, to get you're emotions going. To be enthusiastic every day and as Ralph Waldo Emerson said, "Nothing great could be accomplished without enthusiasm," to keep your dreams alive in spite of problems whatever you have. The ability to be able to work hard for your dreams to come true, to become a reality." (Jimmy V)